A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancé to his study for a drink.
"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.
"I am a Torah scholar." He replies.
"A Torah scholar, Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she is accustomed to?"
"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."
"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"
"Do not worry, sir, God will proceeds like this"
And each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.
Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, Honey?"
The father answer, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I am God."
A union leader was addressing the workers at a union meeting…
"I am pleased to announce that we have agreed on a new deal with the management. We will no longer work four days a week."
"Hooray!" the crowd yelled.
"We will finish work at 4 PM, not 5 PM."
"Hooray!" the crowd yelled again.
We will start work at 10 AM, not 9 AM."
"Hooray!"
"We have a 110% pay increase."
"Hooray!"
"We will only work on Tuesdays."
Suddenly, the crowd fell silent, until a voice from the back asked, "Every Tuesday?"
A young reporter was given the opportunity to interview a very successful, very wealthy banker. The reporter asked him, "Sir, What is the secret of your success?"
He said "Two words, young man."
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Right decisions."
"But how do you make right decisions?"
"One word." he responded.
"And, sir, what is that?"
"Experience."
"And how do you get Experience?"
"Two words"
"And, Sir, what are they?"
The banker replied with a wry smile, "Wrong decisions."
Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed.
But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & a economist in Bed.
Girl announced her engagement to her father.
Father: Does this fellow has any money?
Girl: U men r all alike, that's exactly what he asked me about you
How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!
why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life?
Because, women don't have a wife.
A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
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"What is right to be done cannot be done too soon." ~ Jane Austen (1775-1817) |